Stepping up

No, I am not talking about Step Up the dance show/movie. I'm just talking as human beings.

That moment when you feel like giving up? Don't. The greatest things in life do not come from giving up but rather persistence and perseverance. I am glad to have a sister who is an example of that. In the past semester, I had the thought of going "hey, why don't i do something different and do the electrical engineering project instead of something that is simpler or more close to home?". Hence, I took up electrical engineering for my design course and was one heck of a ride. It was one of the toughest things I have ever done in my life. One reason I picked aerospace engineering is because I do not have to deal with electronics and here am I doing it. It was hard, difficult and painful as I did not have a slightest clue of what was I doing and what was I suppose to do as a group member. I told myself one thing. I said at the beginning that I would do it means I would do it properly. I don't care how hard it is, I will try my best.

The best I did do with the consequences of neglecting my other subjects. I began to slack in math, physics and computing as a result of that. I spent so much time researching, stressing, asking and trying that I reached the point that this is ridiculous. During the final stages of completing the project, I and all my teammates stepped up and did what would normally take four weeks in just a few days. I said, "Hey guys, it's either we do it right or we don't do it all. I know we can just hope for a pass but we already are doing this. We might as well go all the way."

On the day of acceptance testing where final submissions are marked and tested, our autonomous delivery system was nothing close to one. The circuits was not working. The car did not have enough power. The string was not long enough. It was a disaster to say the least. I then said, "Well, we tried our best. " Then a miracle happened. We were the last group to go for our submissions so we had about four hours to work on it. I hesitated going should I work on my circuit. How much could I actually do? I and my teammate took a go at it, keep working and working at it, asking our demonstrators as much as we could. It was a nerve wrecking process to begin with and felt like being on the edge of the cliff towards the end. WE ACTUALLY GOT IT TO WORK. We got the simple circuit to work fine. All in the matter of hours. My teammates did their parts as well.

Unfortunately, our car did not have enough power as the weight was too heavy. But we were one of the better teams. We did not quite get the full marks but we got a really good mark for uniqueness, speed, concept and circuits. I just couldn't believe it. In a matter of day, when all was gone and seem hopeless, we turned the wheel around and got back on track. It was a miracle that I thanked God for.

I went into the lion's den coming out feeling "hey, I did not do too bad. I didn't get bitten. Maybe a bit. But it's one of the steepest learning curve for me."

In the midst of perseverance and persistence, will come a sense of victory and satisfaction. You're a winner then already even if you didn't win. :)

A tribute to a great man

I am flashing back to memories of when I was 16 years old in a hotel back home. My grandfather was asked by several of his old boys to sing a song. At the age of 88, he didn't have much energy to do much things to say the least. He was reluctant at first but after much persuading, he sang one of the most wonderful arranged and written songs in a century, Unforgettable by Nat King Cole. He couldn't sing much but he sang the word Unforgettable each time it came in the song and a very good friend of my uncle was accompanying and helping him along. It was indeed an unforgettable memory to me. He has just lost his wife a few months back that time and he was still saddened by it and regretted over certain things. This picture is still vivid in my mind as I do not have much memories of my grandfather as I went to east malaysia at the age of 10. I came back often to see him and my grandmother but I couldn't do it on a daily basis. The dinner that day where he sang was on his birthday and today would be his 91st birthday if he was still alive.

My grandfather was a great man in many ways. I never got to learn much about his stories. The ones about his younger days, his music, his days of being a hero for someone or just plain funny moments. Even if he told me before, I must have been very young and I can't remember now. One of my greatest regrets is not learning latin and french from him or even read his novels stored in the house. He always ask me to read them and I will say okay but I never did. He was a great man in many ways. A teacher, mentor, model, guide to those around him. He has his principles and he never lets go of them. Did I mention he had a really great memory? At the age of 90, he still remembered his students and their names from his teaching days. He was a such well respected man that his students still call him Master whenever they see him in a restaurant or on the road.

He passed away last year on December 7th. I was there in the hospital with him. Almost every family member were there. I was sleeping and my father woke me up and said hurry. I stood there and I watch him held his last breathe. I didn't cry then as I was prepared for it after a week being with him everyday in the hospital. My cousin was very emotional that day and cried for a long time. Over the next few days, we were alright. you know? it was alright because we have to accept that one day people will go. Someone has to go to Heaven everyday and someone comes to this earth everyday too. I accepted it really well as I saw my whole family including my uncles and aunties and cousins helping each other out in the funeral. It was a touching scene. The last act of my grandfather pulled my family even closer than ever. I am happy I had such awesome people in my life and I had the chance to know him. One day, I hope to be a teacher as well as it is a noble profession. Something many teachers take for granted. His story will be told to my kids for sure. A story that is unforgettable. Happy birthday kong kong!

Chosen

I am sure everyone has watched plenty of movies before where some dude or dudette gets chosen by some group, God, people to be the Hero. Here is a list of some of them.

The Lord Of The Rings (frodo, aragorn)
Spiderman ( spiderman)
Green Lantern ( can't remember the name)
Harry Potter (harry potter)
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief ( i don't have to put the name here again do I ?)
Hercules
Lion King
Transformers (all 3 of them, Sam Witwicky)

AND MANY MORE. BASICALLY ALL MOVIES HAS THIS THEME. (well not all but most) where a man rises to the challenge and be the hero. If I am not mistaken, J.K. Rowling writes that Harry Potter is the Chosen One.

Today, I am going to write from a more Christian view if you do not mind. At church today, the altar server asked me to light the Advent candle. For those who do not know, Advent candles consist of four candles. Each week leading up to Christmas, one more candle will be lighted. The priest (father) not knowing that I had been called by the altar server to light it called me again to light the candle. Twice in a day is never a coincidence. Deep down in my heart, I know I have a calling to be involved in Christian work in the future. I just do not know when or how.

Meanwhile, all of us have been chosen somehow or rather to do something for someone or some group. In the eyes of many, to be the chosen one is always a privilege not knowing that it is a challenge itself to the person. There will be some that feels threatened by the person's sudden meteoric rise in popularity and there will also some that will be glad. More importantly, the person must regard criticism and compliment of them as important tools to guide him or her. Compliment must never be underestimated as it gives a sense of encouragement and optimism to the person. Constructive criticism on the other hand is important as well to help you improve.

Here's a food for thought. How many times have you been the chosen one?  And how many times have you rejected it?

Rule #1

Sometimes you're wrong. I remembered watching NCIS season 7 finale. In the episode, Gibbs write his own new personal rule which is rule#51. It says, " Sometimes you are wrong". You must understand that Gibbs isn't always one to admit his mistakes as he is somehow or rather correct for most of the time.

My point here is that I feel the need to make this rule my own personal rule as well. This is what hinders us to look at things from a different perspective as our pride takes priority over everything. For us human beings, we never like admitting we make a mistake. We like to think we are correct. Don't get me wrong. There is a difference between sticking to principles and being stubborn.

I myself am a stubborn character. Being stubborn is my greatest strength and yet my greatest weakness. I always know that and it's just something I live with. We all would like to be right and say that others wrong. Proving that someone else is wrong actually gives you some sort of satisfaction for some reason. Unfortunately, that can't happen for everyone, would it? If everyone is right, who has made mistakes then? Conspiracy theorists would be rich if they earn a nickel for every thing they say if that's that case.

In a nutshell, you and I just have to humble ourselves and be brave to admit that rule #1 applies to everyone of us.

The end?

I have successfully made it through foundation studies. I got to say it was a whole new ball game for me. During this year, it was tough, enjoyable, laughable, difficult, fun, exciting and definitely a steep learning curve for me. There are some new things I have learned about myself which can be of aid to me or capable of becoming a disaster to people around me in the future. 

I definitely didn't expect myself to surpass expectations set by myself in the beginning but I did in the end which is a blessing and a welcoming surprise. There are still some things I am working on and I am getting there ( i hope). In situations that needed me to hang on and be strong, I manage to overcome the timid me and lead my own way. 

There is no greater blessing than to be taken care by loved ones while being abroad and I know I am lucky. I have come to know many people from different places and they were all very kind to me and some became really good friends of mine. Facebook, Twitter and Skype has certainly been a great tool for me to keep touch with family and also plenty of good friends. 

It has only been a year and I am sure there is more to come in the near future. Thank you Lord for another great year and to all those that cheered me up and prayed for me when I am down, thank you very much. :) 

p.s. no one reads this blog. it's just a tool to express my emotions. :D

A Difference?

I realised that my blog says the Life and Mind of Xuric. I haven't really posted much about my life so i decide to dedicate this post to it.

What major event has been going on this year?
Turning 18 has to be one of the biggest things.

As you know turning 18 here means:
a) clubbing ( don't need fake IDs anymore)
b) drinking alcohol (yes, it's true. you don't have to sneak out anymore to buy beer)
c) others ( you know what i mean, i don't have to mention it)

zone-chanteq-collection.blogspot.com

By the looks of (a), (b) and (c), it calls time for celebrations. Ring the bells folks! FREEDOM AT YOUR DISPOSAL!!!! 

Then i ask myself, do I have to go clubbing? Do i have to drink lots of alcohol? Is there a difference between wanting to drink and go clubbing AND drinking and clubbing for the sake of "growing up". Sometimes I really don't have a clue. My friend who is younger than me, has a fake ID from some foreign country and goes clubbing frequently. Should I be part of that circle?

I guess at some point our lives, we have to try out stuff ( refer to lab rats post) but do remember there's a fine line between wanting to try out something new and being adventurous AND trying it because everyone is trying it. 

So each time we do something, ask yourself if the decision you are going to made is solely your opinion or is it because of pressure and influence from several people (i.e. peer pressure ... well peer pressure can be good and bad sometimes).  We are all afraid at times but sometimes we just got to take courage to face our dilemmas. I know i face more than a dozen of them and it bugs me the whole day. At the end of the day, we trust our instincts, the ones we love and God to guide us. :D

Have a nice day! 

Lab rats

I am sure we all been through it before. Yes we becoming lab rats. You never? OMG! I was. I remember i was abducted by a guy masked in black and being brought to a lab. I was laid on a shiny rectangular table, being strapped on to it. These bright lights (like those irresponsible idiot driver's car lights) were shining at my eyes. Dissected because of I had super powers. Oh, you didn't know. I can breathe and pea at the same time. Yea, IKR. It's a fantastic super power. Who am I kidding? I have never been abducted or whatnot before. Jokes aside. 

My point being at some time in our lives, we are going to have take that extra step to become lab rats ourselves. When we are at a new place, we got to try something new and go on an adventure. I am not asking you to smoke weed, do drugs and etc... As a matter of fact, a friend asked me today, have you smoked weed? I said no. His response was WHY? I said well, I don't want to. Other people try it doesn't mean I have to do it. Sure it looks cool on TV when famous music icon, Mick Jagger consumes it. But do remember there are consequences in everything. I do not need to tell you about those escalating accidents rates and suicides due to drugs. Nor do I need to mention about several lives of pop stars such as Lindsay Lohan and Amy Winehouse ruined by drugs and alcohol. 

What I am saying is that we should try become lab rats and take that extra step with caution and guarded optimism. Try new things and life will treat you better. But be careful no matter what. Anyways, that's all from me. Cheers! :D 

Close to home

Life isn't easy with so many complications and problems in relationships. We have to let go of certain things in life as we move on. To not change is to deny the existence of humans. As we aged, we change to

a) someone better

b) someone worse

c) or change the tiny things of life (habits, tradition....)

We are never satisfied with what we have. All the thoughts that run through our mind everyday is normally about a better life, a different situation and even wishing for a different partner. We constantly look at the other side of the field and forget about our own side that has already been filled with goodness and blessings. It's just something that we tend to do and it's part of us. Andrew Matthews, an author of how to be happy said that in order for us to be happy, we must be satisfied with what we are now. There is no point wishing for something different as you are not living in the moment. We would always be living ahead of ourselves and neglecting what is important currently.

When we were at "home", the place we were born or raised in, some of us are desperately trying to get out of there and wishing for somewhere else fancy like a metropolitan city. When we finally achieved what we wished, we want to go back to our "home" as we missed everything from the food to the smell of the streets. What exactly do we want?

"kiasu"

Kiasu is actually a very special word created back in 1953. It was used by Albert Einstein who himself was also quite kiasu. That's why he got so many theory come out. Theory this theory that. The word "kiasu" was created by Egyptians to be exact. Eh no. In fact the Mayans created it. Ok. fine, i know it's a pile of crap that i just made up. "Kiasu" actually means scared to lose. My friend once said that "kiasu" means ass. haha... well moving on. 1...2...3...

Question 1.

Have you met a guy who is very "kiasu"? (if you are one, then consider you met one then. :p)

Question 2.

Do you like "kiasu" people?

Question 3.

What's wrong with being "kiasu"?

These questions are self reflections about kiasu people. Ok. I have met a few kiasu people in my life and i myself is quite kiasu too. Is this bad or not? Well, basically, being scared to lose actualy causes us to be more competitive. It's not that bad a quality to have. That's how everyone persevere in the toughest of times. In fact, Donald Duck is a great example of kiasuness. Ok, back to reality. Being competitive and afraid to lose is good actually but sometimes people can get ... a little... to scared until friendships are lost and they become a sore loser. Just remember the fact that if we lose a game, we got to lose graciously and congratulate the opponent. Do not be a sore loser and get angry at the other guy for it is pointless. You accepted a challenge and you lost. So accept it gracefully and with that, your dignity is well preserved.

And that my friends was brought to you by 100 plus isotonic drink. Drink more to boost yr "kiasu"ness to 100. =D

Decisions

We spent a lifetime making decisions of our own. Decisions that make us go astray Decisions that help us to be better people. God did not offer us a destiny. He offered us a choice. A choice to choose between right and wrong. It is never easy to take the right path. We just hope for the best. Nevertheless, we have a mind of our own. So we can't blame anyone ar anything when doing something that makes you regret. Never neglect any small detail in your life because these tiny things are the ones that influence you everyday. So when we make a decision, remember who you are and what you can be after making your final choice. Every choice requires courage. Even the simplest ones requires some courage. A small choice can make a big impact in other people's lives and your own. be wise. life will be much easier

projects

my eyes can barely open. feeling tired. it was because of the psk project. i hardly learn anything from it. one of the questions was faedah daripada projek ini? i was like eh... ah... ooo... err.... . then finaly i put memupuk kerjasama dalam ahli kumpulan. ya. i know. it sounds really lame. well, it actually creates cooperation between members but we don't actually realise it. hope the project turns up well. fingers crossed. weee...

Overconfident

what's new? mufti day, another day, thursday, principal's speech, people, high speed internet broadband, being called strawberry by my friend, chai, shcoolwork, revision .... ne na ne na ne na...the thing that strikes me today is that we can sometimes be overconfident. i myself too am a victim of this natural phenomena. haha. from experience i learnt being overconfident can only kill us. last year, i nearly failed my add maths at one time. i got too confident and went to sit for the test without any real preparation. sure, i remember some formulas and some stuff about that topic but i was too complacent. i flipped my test paper as usual. first few question was alright. differentiate, differentiate, differentiate. then came the question. it was quite a simple one actually but my brain traffic was jammed for a while. the blood just didn't flow. i can get pretty subborn at times. being stubborn, i look at the question for half an hour without doing the rest.( i didn't wear a watch on that day too ... sighz...)well, the bell rang and time was up. there you go. two other questions i could have done and i might have got a better mark. the question here isn't why didn't i skipped this question and move on to the next one? It is why did i get too overconfident and think i am going to do well in it. if i was just oonfident, i will ask myself whehter i am prepared for this test. maybe that's some part i don't know. then i will practice more.i actually know how to answer later . it is just that i forgotten about it and didn't practice enough. this is the result. overconfidence lead to high comfort zone and then lead to carelessness. overconfidence will blind someone not to see the consequences of their actions. that's it. in the end we regret. this is life. there's a saying sometimes the things you are good at might just be the one that kill you.

green

lol... green. my friend just ask me to write about green accidentally. it is kind of funny cause green isn't exactly my fav colour. my favourite colour has always been red. my sis it is kind of girly to like red last time. so i end up liking blue also. but i sill love red the most. As for green, i don't find it that attractive but it is ok la. i use it to colour trees and more trees and huge trees. Many people will have different intepretations about this colour. To some, it means new life. when we see it, we feel peaceful and are able to relax. It means life because it is the colour of trees. Without trees, there wouldn't be life. Green can also be a surname. If you watch the funny tv show called friends, one of the girls there is called rachael green. eee... ya. besides that, there is also robert green, frankenstein green, james green, and charmaine green. no i just made that up. Green can also be referred as colour of zombies. haha. green zombies. i don't know why can't there be red zombies. maybe our vomit colour is green that's why. if our vomit colour is red, that is not good news. if it is blue, you are probably alien. what else i can talk about green? green shirt, green table, green underwear... mmm... oh ya. green colour can be used as a monochromatic light in the young's double slit experiment. as the white light spreads out. the green is which degree again? what is the wavelength? haha. nvm. just don't name yr son green cause it is just wierd. Green teo , green chai, green chong, green alex. LAME

invisiblity

two post in two day... not bad. invisible... i am sure you all know what that means. at times, we are kind of invisible. we are not that important in other's people eyes. they treat us as if we are not there. it kind of hurts at times. i guess that's how teachers feel when we don't listen to them. they are unable to get attention from us. they are trying to make a point but they get pushed away as students talked about stuff that are not important at all. eg. dota, girls, comps, softwares, facebook, gossip.... irrelevant stuff. we also feel that way too when people only mix with cool people and leave us alone. when we aren't part of their conversation, we feel left out and don't feel belong there. that is one of the worst feelings one could possibly have. it is at times like this we find our true friends. we seek our family and we seek God. then, it turns out to be a blessing because we are always the center of attraction. it is just that we don't realise it as we think we are nobody but we are actually somebody. So let's care less about seeking attention but appreciate those around us better

say last post dec 2008. haha. that's quite long man. 1 year plus. wow. well, life is pretty much same and that's a blessing. it didn't get worse. probably some stuff changes. say, what is life? i went to church today and fr. terry gave an inspiring sermon. He talked about how we should accept God's love and we should never doubt for a moment that God loves us. He is one that do not condemn sinners. He is one that always loves us no matter what happens. If we keep trying to change ourselves for the better, God will be there for us cause we have good intentions and desires. This is basically life. To accept God's love and to pass it on to others. happiness is what we get from this. I just hope everyone will feel the same way and love one another without expecting anything in return. to love and to serve is one's role in life on earth. to love God is one's role in their eternal life.

MuMs are always right! uhuh

Mummy: Now, remember son mummy is always right and daddy is sometimes wrong, don't listen to him
Son: OKay, but yesterday dad say you are always right, but you say he is sometimes wrong, so if he is wrong about you being right all the time means you are wrong about you being right ... but... wad.... huh...


Okay , that was nothing. well, mum are always right . Don't you think? Ask any mum in the world and they say ya, yes i am right. These are the rules about mums

1. Mum is always right
2. Mum is never wrong
3. If mum is wrong, go back to rule no.1

In short, they are always right. You try talking to them about them doing mistakes, they have all sorts of answers that proves they are right from the top to the bottom. yea yea yea. I go to this maths tution. i said that in front of my teacher, she herself admit and laugh at my statement. OH well, if you don't believe me, ask your mums indirectly by finding their mistakes and point out at them. This is the wonder of mothers. For fathers, it is pretty much different. They are sometimes wrong and sometimes right. Maybe it is the difference between male and female. I think if you have a girlfriend, whatever she does to you is right, am i right? right... enough of it... stop it ... ya right... okay... chao

Parents and Children Relationship

What are parents? What are children? I am sure we all know what are there but do we know the true meaning. Parents is something more than just being our biological parents. Parents are people who take care of us and put the children's importance first before theirs. Besides that, parents have to carry out their responsibility in taking good care of the kid well till they are old.

Well you see nowadays kids always care about whether their parents are real parents or not. Once they find out that their parents who are taking care of them all this while are not really biological parents, they think that their parents have cheated them and didn't tell them the truth. Then, they go and search for their parents who have the same dna with them. Stupid huh. The thing is it is not important whether both the parent and children have a blood relationship, the thing that matter most is that the parents love their children and always will.

The parents also have to learn that even if their children aren't really their kids, they still have to take care of them and continue loving them. Do not abuse or mistreat them. It is always a joy to take care of kids, whether biological or non-biological. Once you develop a bond with the children, you will come to learn that the dna result on the paper isn't really important. Both parents and children have to accept each other willingly. Easy to say hard to do. If you come to learn that your parents are not your natural parents, I am sure it will psylogical setback but do remember what they did for you and in time to come, you can just get over it. It might take a months or years but that doesn't matter. I really hope that all parents will treat their children with care and the children be obedient to their fathers and mothers who have sacrifice time and money for you. If your parents mistreat you, then remember you have God by your side and you might find better parents in the future. Cheers...

PPS

All form 3 students, are you all feeling bored? nothing to do during the days after your major exams. Well, yes you have the PPS ( Post Pmr Sydrome). I have a friend who has this sickness too. He use to wish he has 36 hours a day so that he can study more and also play a while. Now that PMR is over, he wants 12 hours a day only. He even wish he has pmr again so that he can study. How sick is that? Don't worry, this guy's name does not start with P.

Now, why do we have this sydrome? It is because our mind is not set to do everything we like like playing dota, basketball, cs and other stuff. We were born to do things we like and do things we do not like like studying and helping out to do the house chores. Of course, some of us do like studying but not whole-heartedly as dota and blogging. So we have been studying the whole year for this exam, it is been like a routine for us. Suddenly, our mind switch to 100% doing things that we like that we have too much time to play. This is when the sydrome comes in.

As for me, I didn't have much things to do these few days. During the first four days after Pmr, i spend the whole time excluding sleeping time watching tv. My parents bought these tvb drama called moonlight resonance. It has 40 episodes. 1 episode takes up about 45 minutes. So you can imagine, watching 40 espidoes in four days consecutively. Wow. After spending most of the time watching tv, boom... Nothing to do. Suddenly i got activities coming in on Saturday as in today. My friend called up saying i got tution for 3 and a half hours. Then afterthat, i got dinner with my club members. Before all that. i went to buy magic the gathering cards. Now, I am in my dad's office updating my blog. I am sure i will have this sydrome again after today. Back to boring...

Here are the list of things to cure your sickness:

1. Read books. :(
2. Play online games until your head spin
3. Watch tv . Buy some dvds and watch them if you don't have astro.
4. Go for tution :(
5. Update friendster or facebook
6. Sleep ZzzZ...
7. Hang out with friends
8. If you are a guy who spend little time with God, take the opportunity to learn more about him.
9. Help your parents to do the chores. They are tired you know. Imagine you doing all the chores, i am sure you will be sick of it too.
10. Go online and chat with friends
11. Buy some magic the gathering cards and build a deck. Here's the website if you want to learn more, http://www.magicthegathering.com/
12. Go for guitar lessons.
13. Take a job during the school holidays.

That's all from me. Bye.